The Miracle: Lachelle's Perspective

We headed down to Orderville, Utah to go visit my sister and her family. My sister Melissa just had her fifth baby about a month ago, and I couldn't wait to meet that cute chunky monkey boy. The weekend started off great hanging out with family and was just going to get even better because we'd be there to see Melissa's 8 year old get baptized, (And of course being the favorite aunt I was asked to give the baptism talk ;) Ok that's probably Karina, but I'll pretend anyway) and baby Graham was going to be blessed. And on top of all that, all of the girls in our family would be together!

On Saturday, August 22nd, Mom and Melissa were needing to do some final prepping to feed the masses after the baptism and blessing, so Ben, my youngest sister Karina, and I took our 5 boys and Melissa's 3 oldest over to Orderville's little community pool. We were having fun. I even spent a little time taking pictures with my camera of all the crazy cousin pool fun.

Mr. Tanner was being a little imp. He kept running around the edge of the pool. I was afraid he was going to fall in and we'd have to go after him, so I took Kallin and him over to the little two foot deep pool to keep him from hurting himself. Ben and Karina continued to play in the big pool. After a little bit, Ben got out to use the restroom quick. I knew he was going. I wasn't too worried. They were all still playing together at the shallow end, and Karina was there.

Ben returned from the bathroom and set down beside me in the little pool. After about a minute, I was thinking one of us needed to move back to the big pool to help keep an eye on everyone. I then decided to do a head count. I only counted 7, so I counted again. Still 7. Who was I missing? I did a mental roll call and realized I was missing Gavin. I asked Ben if he could see Gavin. He said he couldn't, so I told him we needed to find him. I got out the little pool and started walking toward the big pool. Ben followed. As I approached I could see something at the bottom of the pool. It was Gavin floating face down on the bottom. A thousand things ran threw my brain. I'm not really seeing this. He's going to come up right? Don't tell me that's what I think it is? He can't swim under water. I need to get him out. I can't get him; I have Kallin. He's gone.

I did the only thing I could do I yelled for Ben. I yelled that Gavin was at the bottom of the pool and he needed to get him out. Though Ben says he didn't hear me yell, he jumped in, paused to prep himself, and dived down to pull Gavin up. As he did that I hurried to hand Kallin off to Karina. The lifeguard came over and jumped in after Ben. When Ben came up, Gavin was so limp and so blue. His face, his lips, and even his ears were blue. He could have been confused for a smurf he was that blue. We thought he was dead. I truly thought we had already lost him. The lifeguard took Gavin from Ben's arms and made his way to the side of the pool. I grabbed Gavin's arms and pulled him out. His stomach was distended and felt like jello. He wasn't breathing.

The two lifeguards and I began chest compressions. One of them gave him a breath, and he threw up. That's when we started to see signs of life. After throwing up a second time, he was able to moan and groan, start to breathe on his own, and was at least aware enough that I think he knew I was there. At one point I checked for a pulse and he had one and from my understanding he did when he was first pulled out too. They continued chest compressions and gave a few more breaths through a mask while we waited for the ambulance. All the while I'm talking to him. Begging him to come back to us. Telling him to breathe. Trying to get him to focus on me and to stay with me when he finally opens his eyes. And even though my focus was on him, I can still see the woman on the phone calling for help. I can see Kallin crying on Karina's lap and Tanner looking on not understanding. I can see Xander and Landon bawling, calling Gavin's name, and trying to make sense of what is happening. I can see the concern on my sister's sister-in-law's face while holding her own confused son close.

A police car arrived, and then the ambulance. They loaded Gavin up. I ran and grabbed my phone and towel, so I could go with him. I remember telling Ben to get the other boys home, and he told me he had called Melissa and my mom was on the way. Thomas, my sister's husband, comes running. I leave through the gate to get in the ambulance when my mom comes up and I ask her to get my other boys home.

As we drove to Kenab, we started to see improvement. He threw up quite a bit again and then yelled. They told me that was a good sign and liked that he yelled. Gavin was able to start communicating. They were able to point me out in the front of the ambulance, and he turned his head and eyes to find me. He didn't want to keep the oxygen mask on. I kept talking to him telling him I was there and that he had to leave his mask and just trying to reassure him and myself. I think the people in the ambulance were volunteer. They were in plain clothes. They were so professional and so kind. Two of the women could tell Melissa was my sister. They were so kind. They gave me a blanket since I was only in my swimsuit and were concerned for me as well as Gavin. The ambulance ride is also when I finally started to come out of shock and the tears started to fall. Then I would collect myself to talk to Gavin again. I didn't want him to hear me afraid or sad. I wanted to be calm and brave for him.

By the time we got to Kenab, Gavin was so much more aware. He didn't want the nurse to remove his swimsuit, so I did it. He didn't want to leave his mask on, but he had to have it on because without it his oxygen levels kept dropping too low. He didn't want people touching him, and he told all of them so. He was very agitated and once they got IVs in, they sedated him, so they could better help him. I kept telling him, he was my super hero and he had to wear his super hero mask. They asked him which super hero he was, and his response was Batman. One nurse even tried playing the Batman theme song on her phone to help calm him and he recognized it as such. They decided to life flight him to a facility that could better handle any of his needs that might arise. At first we thought we were headed to St. George, but then they decided to take him all the way to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake.

So as we're waiting for the helicopter, I'm trying to get a hold of Ben to let him know to head to St. George... no wait, SLC. But of course it's the middle of nowhere, and there is no cell reception. It was stressful being apart from Ben. The nurses are kind enough to find me some snacks because it's been a little while since I've eaten and now that I know I'm diabetic... And I'm signing papers and trying to remember Ben's social security number so they can find insurance...  I think it took me at least 3 minutes and 5 tries to get it right. And all this while a police officer along with the ambulance crew are watching. I keep thinking to myself... He's going to charge me for neglect. They're going to take all my kids away. Please God, it was just an accident, don't let them take my kids from me.

The helicopter landed. The crew came in and started prepping Gavin. The pilot took me out and gave me the safety run down. We headed back in to get Gavin. One of the nurses ended up taking me to get a pair of scrubs to wear while they loaded him on board the helicopter. We took off and headed towards Panguitch to an airstrip where a small plane was meeting us to fly us to Salt Lake. On the flight not for the first or the last time, I answered questions of what happened, his name, his age, any allergies, and all those kinds of medical need to knows. It was clear as we took off, but we ended up flying through some rain. I felt like the earth matched my feelings and was crying on my behalf. Amazingly enough, I had cell reception in air and was able to text some to update people.

We landed. I was relocated on the plane, and then waited for Gavin to be loaded. The two nurses, Karen and Trisha would care for Gavin on the plane and the subsequent helicopter flight. They were so diligent in their care of Gavin. They talked to him, they made sure he was warm, they kept him closely monitored. I know it was their job, but I could tell it also wasn't just a job to them. We landed at the SLC airport where we switched back to a helicopter to land on the roof of Primary Children's Hospital. Somewhere along the way one of the flights gave me a bag of mints for Gavin once he was well. 

The security team at the hospital met us and escorted us in to be admitted. As we approached the room, there were probably 20 people ready and waiting to assist Gavin in whatever way he needed. It was overwhelming. I knew he would be cared for and the tears started to flow. There was a social worker that talked to me and was so understanding. I was so grateful for people's compassion and not their judgement. She helped set up a room at the Ronald McDonald House for us. After all the initial hub bub and getting him hooked to a bypap machine to force his breathing in and out, they left the two of us together with a blanket for Gavin and Thomas the Tank Engine on the TV. We hung out in the room until they had a room ready for us in PICU.

While we waited and then moved to the PICU, Ben gathered our belongings and the boys and made the long drive from Southern Utah. Ben's parents also began driving from Rexburg to help with the other boys. Gavin got settled (I had to once again coax him to keep his mask on) and slept. They kept him sedated. The doctor showed me his x-rays. He said typically when someone asphyxiates, they get water in their right lung because it vents downward and not so much in the left because it vents across the heart. Gavin had water in both lungs. The doctor commiserated with me and told me of a time one of his kids went under when his back was turned talking to another older child. With the help of the machine, he was keeping his oxygen levels up and his heart rate was good. The goal was for him to keep his levels up without aide and to watch for possible signs of infection, though because it was pool water they were less concerned. The chlorine, though damaging to his lungs, would also help keep the bacteria out that would cause infection.

My phone had died, Gavin was sleeping, and I was feeling antsy, so I decided to walk down around 10 and wait for Kevin and Ann and Ben and the boys because they were supposed to be arriving soon. Kevin and Ann were actually walking up to the front doors as I got to the lobby. Ben and the boys soon followed.We got everyone checked-in, I gave the boys an explanation of what to expect and headed up to the PICU waiting room. Xander was so eager to give him the toy Gavin had been playing with at the pool. Melissa's kids had sent it for him. I first took Ben to see Gavin, so he knew where he was. I was so grateful to have Ben there by my side holding my hand. It made things a little easier. Then while Ben took the three bigger boys back, I nursed Kallin and talked with Kevin and Ann. Ben returned and took his parents to see Gavin.

This gave me a chance to be with and talk to the other boys. Landon says, "Mom you were crying a lot at the pool. Why where you crying a lot?" I gave him an honest answer, "I was scared." He crawls on to my lap in tears as Xander, my perceptive and sensitive one, asks, "Were you scared Gavin was going to die?" "Yes, I was afraid he was going to die." "I'm glad he didn't die. Gavin is the best brother ever, even if he's mean sometimes. And I kept saying that over and over." He climbs up on my lap with his brother as tears come. It was a sweet tender moment with these two, and I think it was needed to help them process everything.

The two babies started to get fussy, and I was glad for the return of the other adults. We rearranged car loads, and Kevin and Ann took the three older boys with them to Ogden to stay with Ann's sister, Carol, for the night. We then gathered our things and headed to the Ronald McDonald House around midnight. We got checked in and headed to our room. As we walked in, I was brought to tears. This time out of gratitude. The room was beautiful and there was a bag of toiletries waiting for us. None of which would have been possible without the kindness and generosity of others. I was able to plug my phone in and the overwhelming response on Facebook from so many was unreal. I can't put into words how the kindness, thoughtfulness, prayers, and words of encouragement buoyed me up and helped me to find some peace. And I know his recovery was directly affected because of every single person who plead on his behalf. I will never be able to thank everyone or to thank them enough.

We finally got to bed around 1:30 and even though Kallin slept well, I only slept for about 4 hours total. I got up while my two men slept and talked with my uncle through Facebook and then decided with Ann through text that we would meet halfway between SLC and Ogden and trade vehicles, so she could also take Kallin with her. Ben and I were just going to make it work since Kallin was still nursing and couldn't come into the PICU because he was too young, but I decided I needed and wanted both of us to be able to be in with Gavin. It was a hard decision to make for me. I had some breast milk frozen at home, but I had no idea if it would be enough. It would also require sacrifice on the part of a 9 month old baby that wouldn't understand and would take it's toll physically on my body, though I at least knew that I would be able to pump at the hospital. Luckily, he did really well for grandma and grandpa, and then returned to nursing really well once we were back.

After the swap, we headed to the hospital. We found Gavin awake and cuffed. Because the bypap machine forces air in and out, some air was forced into his stomach as well causing it to hurt. They put a tube down his nose into his stomach to help vent the air back out, but he pulled it out twice... and that's when the cuffs came into play. He was also on flow by oxygen and no longer needing the bypap machine.With us there we were able to take the cuffs back off of him. They also started weaning him of the sedative.

While he rested, we went down to the cafeteria for breakfast. As we were heading back up to his room, we saw a sign for an LDS church service that started in 10 minutes. We decided to go, and then we were asked to give the opening and closing prayers to the meeting. I said the opening prayer. It was probably one of the most sincere prayers of my life. As I was praying to and about Jesus Christ, His Atoning sacrifice felt almost tangible to my heart and soul. Even in my every day clothes and flip flops, that meeting was very sacred. My heart was filled with love for those other parents going through more difficult things. I knew Gavin would eventually get better, but some of these parents can only hope their child will get better. It was very humbling and very sobering.

For lunch we went down to eat in the cafeteria. As we were finishing up I see one of the security guards that had escorted Gavin and I from the helicopter into the hospital. He comes walking up with two pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. He tells us he thought we needed and deserved some ice cream and wanted to get it for us. He also asked about how was Gavin was doing. It was so thoughtful. I was so impressed that he remembered me and wanted to do something for us. That is just the kind of people that we were able to work with there at Primary Children's Hospital. They were just awesome amazing people!

Later that afternoon, Ben and I took a quick break so I could go back and shower. When we returned, Gavin was really starting to be himself again. I helped him wipe the dry skin off his lips and put on chapstick, and we brought his glasses with us. Just those two things made such a difference. He was then able to have the tube removed and try some jello and juice and a little later some graham crackers. And with some assistance he was able to get up and walk to the bathroom for the first time. Who knew someone walking to go potty could be so awe inspiring!

Aunt Kathleen, who is actually my Grandma Shoaf's sister, and her daughter Jodi came to visit. They live in Salt Lake and wanted to come check on us. They even brought a little gift for him, a Tetris Bopit... the new favorite toy in the house. It was so nice to have some family come by, when most of our family was so far. Not too long after they left, we had another surprise visit. In our neighborhood, there is a family named the Murdocks. The mom, Kim, had a sister heading to Primary for another round of chemo for her son with cancer. They graciously stopped to check in with us and deliver a poster and a bag of goodies from the Murdocks. So a woman we had never met dealing with her own really difficult things made what I feel like was a huge effort to provide comfort when she herself probably needs comfort too... The depth of gratitude I feel is too deep to articulate.

After all of our visitors, we were moved out of PICU!

We got settled in the new room, but soon he was breathing a little harder and his pulse was a little higher and his temperature was a up a little. There was some debating on whether or not to return him to PICU, but it was decided to watch him. We ordered pizza from the cafeteria for him for dinner. He didn't eat much, but he thought it was pretty cool to get room service, and was so excited about the pizza he made the nurse put it in the fridge for breakfast the next day. 

Since he was no longer sedated, he didn't want to stay at the hospital alone over night. So around 10, I sent Ben to go get some sleep. I climbed in the hospital bed with Gavin and stayed there until he was asleep. Once he fell asleep, I moved over to the couch they had made up for me. A little while later, I can tell Gavin is awake. Next thing I know I hear a ripping sound. I get after him and tell him to leave stuff alone. About 30 seconds later a nurse walks and I say, "It's too late isn't?" "Yup." Gavin had ripped out the IV in each arm because it was hurting him. So at 1 in the morning, the nurses were cleaning up the blood that got all over the bed and Gavin, and then placing an new IV in one of his forearms. Needless to say, I slept the rest the of the night in the bed next to him.

By morning, things were looking better once again. We thought we might be able to go home Monday afternoon. Once again he loved ordering what he wanted for breakfast. With breakfast both mornings, there was a little bendy guy on his tray that held the joke of the day on it. The joke that morning was the joke that Karina told us Friday night before everything happened. It was a little tender mercy for me that even though my family wasn't there, they were there.

Then because he couldn't leave the buttons on his bed alone and needed to move, we headed to the toy room. He loved it, especially their train tracks. But within a half hour he was tired and starting to cough a little more, so we took him back to rest and watch a movie. The rest of the day was spent trying to order food that sounded good to Gavin, so maybe we could get him to eat it, watching movies, and receiving fun presents. My brother Tyler and his wife Beth sent Gavin a stuffed bear and a balloon. And then later he got a police car (not a cop car, so Gavin informed one of the nurses that called it by the wrong name) and another balloon from a church teacher, Sister Oakey. We even sat on the floor and raced it back and forth for a little while. 

Talking with my sister, I knew the lifeguards were quite concerned and even felt some guilt about not seeing Gavin go under. These poor teenage boys were dealt a tragic blow too, so I got their numbers and called them after school. I felt very strongly that I needed to tell them in person that I didn't, we didn't blame them (even though my family had already told them that). I also wanted them to know that the doctors at Primary said it was because we got him breathing pool side that he was alive, and the fact that we did was a miracle. I wanted them to know I was grateful for their help in saving Gavin's life. One in particular was so sweet and I could just hear the relief in his voice. He offered to do anything he could help Gavin if anything ever came up. I hope the calls help those boys heal. 

It was getting to be dinner time, and we hadn't been released yet. We talked with the nurse, and she paged the doctor for us. When the doctor came in, Gavin's heart rate, breathing rate, and temperature had crept back up enough that it made her nervous once again because it could be an infection trying to creep into his lungs. She had been ready to send him home, but decided to play towards caution instead and watch him one more night. Even though I was ready to go home, I was totally okay with staying another night. I just wanted what was best for Gavin. I didn't need any more running to hospitals. 

Since we had watched several movies, we decided to switch things up. I went with the nurse and found a few puzzles, a couple of games, a super hero coloring book and crayons, and bubbles. Gavin sat a few minutes doing the dot to dots and mazes in the coloring book. Then Ben and I took turns working on puzzles with him. Followed by two rounds of Old Maid and one game of Trouble... all of which I lost! It was so fun for me to spend that time with just Gavin and Ben. I came away that night wanting to really implement mommy and daddy date nights with our boys. It was just such a positive bonding experience for all of us. I'm not exactly sure how, but we're going to figure that out. 

I could tell Gavin was tired. He had a long night and long day. I was also exhausted by this point too, so I went and found the Lego Movie, turned it on, so he could fall asleep to it, and said good night. Cue the mommy guilt. He didn't want us to leave, but with the help of the night nurse who let him hold her Lego Emmett flashlight, we were able to leave for the Ronald McDonald House. I thought about having Ben stay with him, but I knew I would sleep better with Ben in bed next to me, and if Ben were driving home the next day I wanted him rested too. As we were climbing into bed, I asked Ben if we had done the right thing leaving him there at the hospital alone. He didn't have an answer.

We were going to wake up at 6, so we could clean up the room and be ready to go since we were pretty sure we would go home that day. I woke up at 4 and then dozed until 6, got up and showered, collected our belongs and neatened up. Finally at 7:30 I woke Ben. I just couldn't wake him before then. I knew he had been through just as much as me and needed the sleep. 

When we got to the hospital a movie was on for him. He was happy, and they said he has slept really well. Relief. The first thing he said to me was, "Mom I didn't pull out my thing last night!" "Good buddy, I'm so glad." lol But really I was glad. ;) We waited until the doctors made their morning rounds to find out what they thought. His temperature was back down, his heart rate was back down, and his breathing was a little slower though still slightly higher than a normal 8 year old boy's would be. When they finally came in, Gavin let them know they were interrupting his movie. He was definitely back to his little self! They listened to his lungs and looked at his charts and said he was good to go. Ben ran back to the Ronald McDonald House to finish the cleaning and loading and to check us out while I waited with Gavin for them to get the necessary paperwork done for him to discharged from the hospital. Gavin was so glad they finally got rid of all the wires and the IV. The hospital actually finished first, so when Ben was done he pulled up front and we came down to load Gavin up into the car. We were finally going home!

At one point, during our hospital stay I had promised to take Gavin to McDonald's to eat on the way home, so we did just that. We grabbed lunch, and then ate it in the car. Ben and I were both just so ready to be home. When we got home, we had an hour or two before we needed to go get the boys from grandma and grandpa's house... which gave us a minute to breath, unload, and get a few things done. That night having all my boys under one roof sleeping was a little piece of heaven. I was so glad to have our whole family together again. Life has pretty much returned to normal. We continue to receive an outpouring of love and concern... calls, dinners, visits, and more. He gets winded easy and needs to stop and rest a minute, but he doesn't really let that stop him. Everything that happened is almost surreal and returning to the everyday seems kind of surreal too. But I am every so grateful that we can go back to real life, and hopefully I'm a little bit better person now because of all that has happened.

One last thought... while all of this was going on, we had so many people reach out to us... through Facebook, from church, from Ben's work, through phone calls and texts, and email. People offered to mow our lawn and take our kids and to do anything they could to help. The love we felt was overwhelming. And I truly believe that prayers on our behalf helped Gavin make a miraculous recovery in a very short amount of time. Not only did he survive, but he will do so with no lasting complications. He will make a 100% recovery. So if you were one of those people, thank you. I will never be able to thank each and every person, and those I do get to thank, I will never be able to truly thank enough. Good thing God knows... I'm sure he'll take care of it for me. So once again I thank everyone from the beginning to the end of all this from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.