So winter begins...

Basically it started snowing and didn't stop all day long. This is what resulted in the end. And until about yesterday it hadn't all melted.

Not bad for a first snow fall huh?

This year is the first my boys actually like the snow. They don't last very long in the cold, but they will actually play in the snow... where before even walking in snow hand in hand with them freaked them out. While we waited for the bus, the day it was snowing, Gavin and Xander promptly asked where the snowman was. They just assumed one would appear with the falling snow... little do they know! They both also thought it was hilarious and so much fun to catch snowflakes on their tongues.

The next day when Gavin got home from preschool, he and I played outside and made a little snowman while Xander finished his nap. We had to go play out in the snow the day after that as well. It was a lot of fun. And I really enjoyed doing something with just Gavin. It's nice to have a little one on one time now and again.

Just to prove I was really out there playing in the snow too.
Aren't we so cute?!

UNDER

UNDERWEAR sticking out from UNDER the bed....
this is what I found when I walked into the boys' room to get something out of their closet.

Xander wanted to have underwear on, so even though he cares nothing about going on the potty, we let him wear underwear for a little while. Might as well encourage the concept. So this funny boy ends up under the bed playing around in underwear and sandals. It was too funny not to document. Silly kid.

Halloween... a little late

We've been sick this whole past week with the stomach flu... very very yucky. SO that kept me from accomplishing much of anything last week, and hence the late post about Halloween. We never did quite make it to carving pumpkins this year, but earlier in the week the boys and made pumpkins. Gavin even cut out his pumpkin almost entirely on his own! Though he needed some reminders to follow the line and not just cut the pumpkin in half ;).

They were so proud of their pumpkins and wouldn't let me hang them up. They had to be able to carry them around with them everywhere they went.

Here's the boys just being my boys! Xander was fixing his mouth with his screwdriver... though I never knew it was broken!

For costumes this year I decided to go with pirates because the boys say "Aarr, matie!" And it is hilarious and absolutely adorable. I meant to get a video of them saying it. I never did manage that. I may still have to... even if they're not in their costumes.

I also dressed up as a pirate and Ben dyed his contacts yellow this year. Not as creepy as the red he did last year. If you click on this last collage and look close at the picture of the Ben with boys were he's looking right at the camera you can see the eye color change. We celebrated Halloween on Saturday at our ward Halloween carnival. (I made the cute haunted house sign - 3 of them actually- for the church foyers.) The boys loved playing the games and getting prizes. They are throwing darts in the picture. We were also able to get a little family Halloween picture taken thanks to the talented Stevie. We eventually got the boys to hold mostly still... now if only Xander was smiling... silly boy :). Then we went trick or treating around the halls of the church building, and the boys loved it. And I loved it too because we weren't outside freezing! We all had a lot of fun. It was great way to spend Halloween!

And it officially begins...

The TERRIBLE TWOS!!

Even though Xander has thought he was two for a good six months now, it finally became official last week. We had a small family party on his birthday. Grandpa Kevin, Grandma Ann, Kiana, Jonathon, and Jacob came over to celebrate. He was spoiled with fun presents, and he mostly opened them by himself with only  some help from his brother. He especially loved the balls Grandpa Joel and Grandma Crystal sent in the mail, and the basketball hoop Grandpa Kevin and Grandma Ann got him. He got to blow out the candles on his basketball cake, and then we all enjoyed the chocolate goodness!

Drum Roll Please...

Yesterday was the big day. After dropping off the boys, Ben and I headed to the doctor for the ultrasound and 20 week appointment. At first the little stinker was curled too tightly in a ball to be able to see much of anything. After some poking and prodding, we were able to see what this little baby's gender is. SO here it is... baby number 3 is another little BOY! The technician took all of her pictures and measurements, and he is a healthy little boy. She said he weighs 13 ounces, which is in the 58% percentile. So a little bigger than average, but not a 12 pound-er according to the tech (I wasn't too sad about that comment.) All of his measurements are just where they should be, and everything looks great. He's right on track. Even though he willingly showed everyone that he was a boy, again he was a little stinker. He kept his face hidden. She was only able to get this one profile picture, and it's only an okay picture.

WARNING: here is the ultrasound picture to prove that he is a boy. (Ultrasound pictures and maybe a birth picture are my two exceptions for immodest naked pictures!) Even if you can't normally tell what is what in ultrasound pictures if you look close, it's obvious.

And since there are plenty of you who have not seen me pregnant. SO I thought maybe I should post a preggo picture for you. Ben took it last night for me. We are all so excited for this little boy... NOW we just have to come up with a name for him!

Some of my thoughts on Motherhood

Now being a mom, I think about Motherhood a lot. But when I'm pregnant, it brings about more thoughts. And then waiting for this slow week to go by, so I can go to doctor and find out if this baby is healthy and if baby is a boy or girl has brought about a lot of contemplation.

Of course a lot of my thoughts are focused on myself as a mother. With two very active and independent little boys, I have my hands full. Then there is the factor of Gavin's extra needs. Sometimes I feel like I have twins. Gavin is socially and communicating at about a two and half year old level, and Xander has thought he was two for at least the last six months. The only differences are they were actually born two years apart, and I have a really smart 4 year old mind orchestrating, masterminding, and leading the way. Granted, all kids have their own set of challenges, but mine are a different set of challenges than most, and it's really hard for me at times. I'm not going to go into details, but it took a change of heart before I was ready to even consider having a third baby. Even now I sometimes wonder what I was thinking. How am I ever going to be able to handle three?

I'm humbled at the thought that the Lord feels like he can entrust me with another one of his little ones to care for. I'm so eternally grateful for each of my children including this little one on his or her way. I know that the Lord has sent each of these little individuals to be a part of our family. Though at the same time, I sometimes feel guilty... for doubting, for maybe not be grateful enough, for not being a better mom, and all those things the very human side of us mom's feels.

I have seen so many women in my life who struggle in one way or another with having children of their own. Whether it's finding someone to marry, being able to conceive, being able to have invetro work, being able to carry their baby to full term (miscarriages and wondering whether their premature baby will survive), and the list goes on. I don't think we even know the half of what a lot of women are secretly dealing with. My heartaches for them, especially when I am pregnant. I do try to be sensitive to that secret silent heartache. I try not to openly complain (though my husband and a few close friends will tell you I have my moments), but beyond not being negative about my pregnancy I also try not to be boastful or over the top. Because as grateful and excited as I am, I never want someone to feel like I'm rubbing it in their face though I know I can't really get rid of the sting completely because I'm pregnant and they're not. Our roles could just as easily have be reversed.

So when I'm feeling like I can't cope with my children, I try to be grateful I have children. Though I am not one to say I really like being pregnant, I remind myself I'm grateful to at least BE pregnant and have the privilege of feeling this baby move and grow inside because there is no other feeling like it. As hard as life gets at times, I am grateful... grateful for the opportunity to be a mom. To learn from, grow with, and love my children with all my heart.  It's a blessing I'm grateful the Lord has chosen to give me, and I know those women that may not have the opportunity now will eventually have that opportunity.

As I was cleaning, I came across this poem/story. I think it came in a card from my Aunt RaNae when I had Xander. It was the reminder I needed yesterday. So this is to all the moms... those who have children, those who want children, those who have to wait to get to heaven to see their children. We have been placed on this earth to be different than men, and to be a part of God's plan in way that only we as women can fulfill.

A newborn's conversation with God

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?" God said, " Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy." God said, " Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?" God said, " Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?" and God replied, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.

"Who will protect me?" God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore." God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

And God said, " You will simply call her, 'Mom.'